Driving around Calgary on sheets of ice and in snow, isn’t something that I love to do. My little Scion slips and slides along the roads – and I hear my father’s voice “shift into neutral”. I grew up in the Mid-West so I know how to drive in the snow, but it still stresses me out.
Last Thursday I was running late, had a million things on my mind, and was in the car on another icy day in Calgary. The radio was my only weapon against insanity – and quickly put things in perspective.
Mix 97.7 was running a Radio Marathon for the Calgary Herald’s Christmas Fund. Even though I read the Herald everyday, work in the sector, and watch my Twitter feeds – nothing tugged at my heart like hearing the voices on the radio.
Humans are hardwired for stories. We are pulled in by the drama, we connect to the characters, and we remember the lesson – so much better than if we are thrown facts and figures. Stories are our history, and they connect us to one another. There is a time and place for evidence, facts and figures – but there is no replacement for that feeling of human connection.
And if you listen, you’ll soon hear stories all around:
Each year, our family puts together a Christmas Hamper for families in Calgary who need a little extra help. Unlike most years, this year we’ve actually met the family.
Imagine if, in your golden years, instead of retirement and vacations you were raising both your adult son and his son. This is the reality for a family of three, who in many cases, may have been split apart – the grandson taken into protective services, the grandmother unable to care for her son.
But this family has had the support of Connections Counselling to keep it together.
This year, I met the father and son. They were enjoying the day at a Connections sponsored event for families. Laughing, talking, and engaging with one another – you knew that disability did not inhibit their love. As I watched them enjoy one another’s company – I was filled with deep admiration for the work that Connections does to keep families together.
This year, as our family puts together our Christmas Hamper, I have the image of that day in my head. The human connection is so important – we aren’t just writing a cheque, we aren’t just making a hamper – we are gifting to a family who we know, who cares deeply for one another.
Maybe it is just the time of year – admist the traditions, the parties, the family reunions – that pulls at my heart strings. Quite quickly, these stories of generosity and optimism downgrade my quibble with winter driving. They put back into perspective the reason why I do this work and the reasons why we need more people to do this work.
This Christmas, let yourself be overcome by the stories and ask yourself how you can become involved. Leave the ole’ evaluation and metrics hat for January.
Yes! Become involved. Yes! Recognize and support the many, many families of all shapes and sizes in Calgary who are in need. They may have financial difficulties, they may have health or social problems that fall through the holes in the social safety net, they may be women and children rebuilding lives after leaving an abusive or violent relationship.
But where does our need (or is it just a desire?) for stories cross the line and become inappropriate?
Most of what I learned about non profits and philanthropy, I learned from SVP Calgary — so a hearty thank-you. But now that I work with the issue of family violence and am bombarded with requests for interviews with victims of family violence, I question the appetite for these stories. If I answered that request, I would most often put that woman and her children in danger. By asking for that interview, the reporter is knowingly asking to put someone in danger — they acknowledge that when they ask me. Yet they ask anyway, because they know it makes a better story. That’s a sad comment on our ability to empathize and our willingness to help — without needing the emotional fix from the raw, sad story.
What SVP Calgary does so well is teach people good philanthropy — helping in a way that actually helps instead of only providing gratification to the donor. Good non profits keep those they help top priority and work hard to connect their supporters to the good they do and the cause they support. But there is a bright line there and good non profits and good donors respect that line. If you want a good story, read a novel. In the meantime, keep working at supporting the community and those who need support. Because you can.
Happy New Year and let’s hope this never-ending winter ends early! Regards, Erin
Erin,
Thanks so much for your post! I think that in telling our stories its most important to know which story to tell. We (non-profits) need to create awareness about our mission and issues – but we need to be careful not to do that on the backs of our beneficiaries.
Thanks for your thoughts!
Cheers,
Michele