This might be the day. Things are softening. (Circle it on the calendar, four and a half months.)
I can say this today because my child slept from six p.m until seven a.m. with only one feeding and no fussing. She also has gone down for two naps with minimal screaming, crying, fussing.
It is days like today, and a few in the past week, where things have slowed down. Days when the hard work seems more manageable, even enjoyable. Moments throughout the day when I catch myself thinking that I might-even-possibly miss this time together with her.
I still struggle with some boredom issues. I have cleaned every closet, thrown away clutter from previous lives, and recycled technology from the early 2000s. We have bought a new car and are getting hail damaged fixed on the other. I have spent time writing, reading, and wandering. I have spent far too long on Pinterest & have recently bought canvas to wrap diaper boxes to make them fancy toy boxes. This past week, I considered what it would look like if we renovated the shower and ripped up the carpeting in our house.
I love getting organized. But even I think this might be too much. Last week, my husband came home to find me cooking dinner and I think the sight nearly killed him.
The edges seem less hard these days. And the days truly seem to melt into one another. I think some of this is just the effect of time, but I believe our pursuit of sleep training has given us the opportunity to find more hands-free time in the day. Her ability to soothe herself has increased the possibilities of the day and in turn, the satisfaction.
Who knows what comes next. I know that hard edges might be just around the corner again, but for now, we are relaxing into all of it.
